A desire to love and be loved

Updated : 2014-05-23 17:14

A desire to love and be loved

Kim Song-rhei

It is said that every person has a desire tolove and to be loved in return. However, Ihave heard from a philosopher whoemphasized that those who desire to lovesomeone more than to be loved feel muchhappier. 
The instant that I heard this from him, I agreed, so much so that, like aman talking to a friend of similar stature, I joyfully said to him, “I’m inearnest agreement with your view.”
At that time, he also expressed his feelings with a smile spread over hislips as a response. It was a moment that I once again realized that, “ahuman without distinction of rank is a creature of impulse.”
The dialogue exchanged between us, in a word, came to a mutualunderstanding. From a philosophical point of view, I think that it is a sortof a mirror of “a human desire to love and to be loved in return.”
That is, the philosopher gave me a hint that as long as one is about it,one has a preference for an approver to a dissenter as a desire whenconsidering the remedies of how to cope with situations.
I also have drawn an inference from him that one is disposed to take upa much more positive attitude when devoting one’s love to someonethan being loved by someone in life. What makes me think so?
Personally, I am not qualified to talk on the subject of philosophy. So Iwonder if I am right in saying that a desire of devoting oneself tosomeone or something with one’s whole heart means that one isprepared for bestowing all of one’s energy on it at the risk of one’s life.
On the other hand, the desire to be loved by someone means that onewants to have good luck without making a martyr of oneself, standingon the defensive.
It may be that the latter case will progress satisfactorily in life, but I thinkthat the former case is far better than the latter one in terms of humanhappiness.
This is because the result of pursuing happiness ultimately dependsupon one’s effort and ability accompanied by the spirit of self-sacrifice.
Therefore, as food and water are indispensible to life, so the spirit ofself-sacrifice is a necessary condition of love.
Sparing no pains in the pursuit of happiness, in a sense, is the same astaking up positive attitude by one’s own efforts. In such a case, thestrength of self-confidence assumes an upward curve under thestimulus of positive feelings
It is said that dopamine released due to positive feelings enhancescognitive abilities. Thus, doing something with firm confidence servesas a stimulus to aspiration, taking a cheerful view of life
Therefore, without the stimulus of ambition, I am positive that no onewill ever have accomplished the genuine desire to love and to be lovedin return.
The word “offense” does not go well when arguing about “love. “However, these two words remind me of a proverb which says, “Love islike a war that is always accompanied by great sacrifice.”
It is said that to win a battle, “offense is the best defense. ” In thefigurative sense, this implies that “success often attends hard work. “So, to achieve true love is always beset with a spirit of self-sacrifice.
The essence or spirit of love entails not only tender emotions but also atough spirit, which, I think, is similar to a mother’s love for her child.
I guess that when a woman becomes aware of her motherly instincts,her happiness index rises. The reason why I think so is that she hasmore of a desire to love her baby than to be loved in return.
The writer lives in Gwanak-gu, Seoul. His email address iskwanak11@hanmail.net 

About bambooinnovator
Kee Koon Boon (“KB”) is the co-founder and director of HERO Investment Management which provides specialized fund management and investment advisory services to the ARCHEA Asia HERO Innovators Fund (www.heroinnovator.com), the only Asian SMID-cap tech-focused fund in the industry. KB is an internationally featured investor rooted in the principles of value investing for over a decade as a fund manager and analyst in the Asian capital markets who started his career at a boutique hedge fund in Singapore where he was with the firm since 2002 and was also part of the core investment committee in significantly outperforming the index in the 10-year-plus-old flagship Asian fund. He was also the portfolio manager for Asia-Pacific equities at Korea’s largest mutual fund company. Prior to setting up the H.E.R.O. Innovators Fund, KB was the Chief Investment Officer & CEO of a Singapore Registered Fund Management Company (RFMC) where he is responsible for listed Asian equity investments. KB had taught accounting at the Singapore Management University (SMU) as a faculty member and also pioneered the 15-week course on Accounting Fraud in Asia as an official module at SMU. KB remains grateful and honored to be invited by Singapore’s financial regulator Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) to present to their top management team about implementing a world’s first fact-based forward-looking fraud detection framework to bring about benefits for the capital markets in Singapore and for the public and investment community. KB also served the community in sharing his insights in writing articles about value investing and corporate governance in the media that include Business Times, Straits Times, Jakarta Post, Manual of Ideas, Investopedia, TedXWallStreet. He had also presented in top investment, banking and finance conferences in America, Italy, Sydney, Cape Town, HK, China. He has trained CEOs, entrepreneurs, CFOs, management executives in business strategy & business model innovation in Singapore, HK and China.

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