Study Says Yelling Is As Hurtful as Hitting; Parents Who Yell at Teens Can Increase Risk of Depression and Aggression

September 4, 2013, 7:21 p.m. ET

Study Says Yelling Is As Hurtful as Hitting

Parents Who Yell at Teens Can Increase Risk of Depression and Aggression

ANDREA PETERSEN

Parents who yell at their adolescent children for misbehaving can cause some of the same problems as hitting them would, including increased risk of depression and aggressive behavior, according to a new study. A good, warm relationship with Mom and Dad doesn’t protect teens from the negative effects of parents’ yelling, cursing or lobbing insults, such as calling teens “lazy” or “stupid,” the study found. Conducted by researchers at the University of Pittsburgh and the University of Michigan, the study was published Wednesday on the journal Child Development’s website.While spanking has become taboo in many U.S. communities, yelling doesn’t have nearly the same social stigma. Indeed, parents sometimes think yelling will make their charges listen and behave. But the study found the opposite to be true.

“Shouting cannot reduce or correct their problem behavior,” said Ming-Te Wang, an assistant professor in the departments of education and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh and a co-author of the study. “On the contrary, it makes it worse.”

Timothy Verduin, clinical assistant professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the Child Study Center at NYU Langone Medical Center in New York, who wasn’t involved in the study, said parents can effectively discipline kids by taking away privileges, such as screen time or the car keys.

But, he added, “make sure you do it without attaching a ton of critical, punitive, insulting kinds of language to it,” Dr. Verduin said. “You feel a lot more responsible for your behavior when you’re being corrected by someone you respect and admire. Anything you do to berate or shame a kid erodes that power you have.”

The study followed 976 two-parent families, with children assessed at ages 13 and 14. Researchers asked kids various survey questions to appraise their behavior problems, depression symptoms and the warmth of the relationship with their parents. Parents completed surveys to gauge their use of harsh verbal discipline.

When their children were 13, about 45% of participating mothers and 42% of fathers said they had used harsh verbal discipline with their child during the past year. Those kids whose parents used higher levels of harsh verbal discipline when their children were 13 experienced larger increases in behavior problems the next year, including fighting with peers, trouble in school and lying to parents, as well as symptoms of depression.

The increases were similar if parents used harsh verbal discipline or physical approaches such as pushing or spanking. The degree of warmth of the parent-child relationship outside of any altercations didn’t alter the negative effects of the harsh verbal discipline. Kids’ behavior problems also led parents to increase their use of harsh verbal discipline tactics, fueling an escalating cycle, the study found.

As to why yelling can prove so toxic for young teens, “adolescence is a very sensitive period when [kids] are trying to develop their self-identities,” Dr. Wang said. “When you yell, it hurts their self image. It makes them feel they are not capable, that they are worthless and are useless.”